Life with a family member that has a substance addiction is a on going nightmare , you never know how the day is going to end ,and you wonder where it all started ..was it a tramadic event ..a family history or are they just spoil and used to getting their own way ,what makes life so bad that they want to smoke or drink it away ? I don’t think I’ll ever understand …My life is a nightmare watching them but I chose not to follow ,I realized after my own tramadic event that the sky is blue and I’m loved and wanted .I have a scar to reminded me how bad it got but now I can see and tell others you can see the sky tho the pain I just wish they would listen ,Wonder who’s pain is the worst their or your watching and knowing they wont let u help ,is my way better ? I don’t know when things are tough for me I bite my nails or dig at bug bites if I have them I try to distract myself by reading or hiking but sometimes I don’t even realize I have done that until my nails hurt or I’m bleeding maybe we do have some mental issue that is family related or maybe I’m just grasping for some kind of answer : feeling sad and confused
Walking in the rain
it was a little muggy out tonight to hike with my pack so I went for a walk with Lou instead we was caught in a gentle rain and a neighbor dog joined us it was just a lovely way to spend time with my girl and my thoughts ( I’m not giving up I will one day hike the AT ) the joy on my girls face makes me smile and she is now curled up at the foot of my bed happy that I got to spend time with her ..now off to the chat room to learn about cool hiking gear /read some FANFIC ..and FB LOL
Yea 2 days in a row
Ok got up this morning at 3am cause someone tried to get in the house now my youngest child heard them and she came woke her Dad and I up ..needless to say we was armed and ready ..but could not see anyone ..GRRRR so child(17yrs) cuddled up to me in bed and Her Dad and I stayed awake ..made for a very long day , now on to night time job ..but making plans for a adventure on the river this weekend or a horse ride with friends maybe ..BOTH
WOW I’m so bad at blogging LOL
it has been a wile but here is the update : no longer in school ..yea it kicked my A big time plus I don’t need the degree any more for my job . on the other up side My husband and I this past yr have gotten very close ..He is my best friend on 2 legs Have gotten a new lease on life and decided at 45 I needed to live so now a yr later …I bought a horse QH named Freckles and I have a dog Pit bull named Louise ,I hike ,fish ,camp ,kayak, hunt garden..I love spending time outdoors and My hubby goes with me as well as my Dog Lou and sometimes the kids
Collage
well I’m in collage now and I must say going back at my age has been Hard as Hell I only have 3 classes but 2 of them is English and being out 20= yrs ..so much has changed not sure how I will make it there is no time to get things done anymore and what I get done is half fast ..sigh I feel like a failure before I even start
Bad Blogger
LOL not doing so good at this blog stuff am I ..oh well I will get better at this
Goggle +
I’m trying to find my way around it LOL this is where I fail until I don’t 😉 and my Daughter is sick so this will be short
So u think u can do better
it has come to my attention that someone I work with thinks she knows it all …. so much in fact she had a conversation with another coworker in a public place (my daughters work) about how I can’t do my job, I don’t know how to cook , she is suprized I haven’t been fired and she can do my job better ok if that is the case why have I been there 9 frecking yrs to her 1 and I’m full time to her part time /sub and to top all this off my Daughter was standing in ear shot and heard all of this ..now u can say what u want about me ,u can say I’m the biggest bitch and u can say all the things she said but to do so in front of my kid is a big NO the Freck way, My kid was in tears and she wanted to say something but couldn’t cause she wanted to keep her job so my thought is this if u going to talk about someone be careful where U are U have no idea who maybe listening